44 Mag with one round in my pocket made of kryptonite and I’m a model of confidence and safety. I used to carry a Desert Eagle, but I doubt you remember a night a few years back, Bats, when you stopped a drug ring run by Manny O’Dey and his New Russian Underground. I was working the night watch when you ever-so-casually slapped the piece out of my hand from the shadows, puffed yourself up and said OH SO righteously, ‘I don’t LIKE…guns.’ just before cold cocking me for the umpteenth time. The gun ended up broken in two…I don’t know about you but I’m not a rich man. Those things ain’t cheap. But standing at the end of a long corridor with a half-dozen purple/white anatomically-impressive zomboids closing in on me, I knew what was going through Richard III’s mind when he offered up his entire empire for a quick ride out of town. Let me say that, loogies-spitting aside, the faceless goons were pretty worthy adversaries. They are only trained for two specific tasks, one of these is to. I couldn’t overtly commit suicide: that would devastate my parents. Instead I decided to make an ‘accident’ happen. I’d read about a man who nearly killed himself by drinking a bottle of Scotch. At my local supermarket I found that they had a special offer on a brand of Irish whiskey I’d never heard of before. Scotch, Irish, what difference would it make? If one bottle wasn’t enough to kill, I needed at least two. Hell, why take chances? I bought five. It wasn’t as though I would need the money any more. The cashier was extremely suspicious and I had to prove I was over twenty one before she’d let me buy even a single bottle.I made my way to a quiet spot by the side of the river. If alcohol poisoning didn’t kill me, surely I’d get so drunk I’d fall in and drown.I opened the first bottle and took a swig. I nearly choked as the amber liquid burned its way down my throat. There was no hurry, I had all night, so I waited until the burning died down before I took a second, smaller sip. It.
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